Coping With The Loss of a Loved One

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormon Church) we are taught that we lived as spirit children of our Father in Heaven before we were born (see Jeremiah 1:5) and that our life does not end when we die here on earth.  Elder Russell M Nelson, President of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles said this:

"Life does not begin with birth, nor does it end with death. Prior to our birth, we dwelled as spirit children with our Father in Heaven. There we eagerly anticipated the possibility of coming to earth and obtaining a physical body. Knowingly we wanted the risks of mortality, which would allow the exercise of agency and accountability. “This life [was to become] a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God.” But we regarded the returning home as the best part of that long-awaited trip, just as we do now. Before embarking on any journey, we like to have some assurance of a round-trip ticket. Returning from earth to life in our heavenly home requires passage through—and not around—the doors of death. We were born to die, and we die to live. As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven."

The Gospel Principle of life after death has certainly bought peace to my sole as I have dealt with the loss of beloved members of my family and dear friends.  I testify to you that it us true.  Each of us will have the opportunity to be reunited with those that we love.  We have eternal bonds with them.  Even with the knowledge that we will be with them again we can still hurt.  We feel the pains of loss and a sense of loneliness.   

Within each of us is a bit of a struggle.  Our minds tell us that our loved one is in a better place.  A place of peace.  A place where pain and suffering do not exist.  We know that when we too pass through the portals of death we will be reunited with them.  We long for that day when we can once again embrace those beloved family members who passed on before.  However our hearts ache right now.  Our arms feel empty.  We wait for the day when we can see, feel and touch them once again.

 

My father has been on my mind quite a bit the past few days.  I am feeling, for the umpteenth time, a sense of loss and that desire to once again have one of his hugs or to pick up the phone and have one of our extended conversations covering sports, politics, family or current events.  I would give anything to know what he thinks of my children and my grandchildren.  These feelings are close to the surface right now probably because tomorrow would have been his 103rd birthday.  He passed away nearly 25 years ago.  It was so long ago and yet in many ways feels like it was only a year or so ago. 

 

My mother died at the young age of 53.  She has been gone now for over 32 years.  She left us when my family was so young.  My oldest son being only 16 months old and our oldest daughter just over one month.  It hurt so bad knowing that my children would never really know their Grandma Tanner.  We hurt because we did not have her expertise to rely on.  She had become our go to person when we had questions with our children.  She was our teacher.  Even though she had many other grandchildren before ours came along we felt as though our children were her first grandchildren.  There was no doubt that she loved them will all of her heart.  To put it simply we were heart broken at her passing.  And now 32 years later my heart still hurts.  Hurts from missing this sweet, gentile, and compassionate woman.

 

Reflecting on the deaths of my parents I realize that the first year after their deaths was the hardest.  It is as if they were on my mind constantly during that first year.  Any and every special occasion became emotional.  Birthdays, holidays, football and basketball games all caused a feeling of loss all over again.  Over the years it has become easier.  I don't always think of my father every basketball or football game.  Yes I do think of my parents on the occasions of their birthdays and other special occasions.  There is still some pain and sorrow but it has eased some over the years.

 So how do we move forward?  How can we patiently await our turn to return to be with those who have gone on before?

Lose you yourself in service to others.  Be as our Savior was.  In service always.  Think of others first before thinking of you.  Service to others helps you to forget yourself.  Forgetting about yourself helps to minimize the pain felt with a loss.  Matthew 10:39 states this: "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."

Lose your life in service to friends, family and others in need and you will find Life in Christ.

Have you suffered loss in your life?  Please feel free to leave a comment about your feelings  and how you have coped with your loss.

Submitted by:  James Tanner

Rising From The Ashes

The Mormon Tabernacle in Provo, Utah was originally built in 1861.  This historic building had been the site of church meetings, city cultural events and even hosted a visit from former United States president William Howard Taft.  It was a landmark in Provo City Downtown that residents of the area identified with and loved.

On December 17, 2010, at 2:43 am a four-alarm fire was reported at the Tabernacle.  The fire ended up gutting the entire building.  With the roof collapsed and only the exterior wall left standing it appeared that the only future this historic building would have would to become a memory in the minds of those who had ties to the Tabernacle. 

For me personally I felt a sense of loss and emptiness for this wonderful and beautiful building.  It felt like the death of a loved one.  I only imagined that the building would be torn down.  It's future would be a memory in my mind's eye as I would drive past the site as I had countless times in the past.

Then on October 1st, 2011 Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the opening of the session of the Semi-Annual General Conference of the Church made an announcement that caused my heart jump within my chest and tears to well up in my eyes.  President Monson said this:

"First, may I mention that no Church-built facility is more important than a temple. Temples are places where relationships are sealed together to last through the eternities. We are grateful for all the many temples across the world and for the blessing they are in the lives of our members."

"Late last year the Provo Tabernacle in Utah County was seriously damaged by a terrible fire. This wonderful building, much beloved by generations of Latter-day Saints, was left with only the exterior walls standing. After careful study, we have decided to rebuild it with full preservation and restoration of the exterior, to become the second temple of the Church in the city of Provo."

 

I lived in Utah County until May 2014.  From the time of President Monson's announcement until I moved I drove by the Provo Tabernacle on a regular basis.  It was amazing to watch the Tabernacle rise from the ashes and slowly but surely make its transformation into another sacred House of the Lord.  To me the most amazing sight to witness was seeing the entire building being held up on stilts.  The building looked like it was so fragile and being held up in such a precarious way.  I truly wondered if it could remain standing in a good stiff wind.

 

 

And now, a little over 5 years after being gutted by fire, on March 20, 2016, what was once the Provo Tabernacle, gutted by fire with its interior in a pile of ashes, will be dedicated as the Provo City Center Temple.  The newest "House of The Lord".  Risen from the ashes to fulfill a divine destiny.

 

As I have reflected on the events of the Provo Tabernacle's transformation I have come to the conclusion that there are parallels to this building within our own lives.  Each of us has been divinely created by our Father-in-Heaven.   Each of us face our own challenges and difficulties.  At times we feel that we have been burned out and are in piles of ashes.  Our burning out comes is many different shapes and forms.  Stress, anxiety, financial woes, physical health problems, sin, or even faith that seems to have weakened can causes us to feel as if we have lost the Devine purpose for which we were created.  At some point we try to rebuild.  We may find ourselves entirely gutted, up on stilts where we feel wobbly and like at any moment we may just tumble and fall, never to be put back together again.

But we have a master architect and construction expert in a loving God.  The one who knows and can see the beautiful edifice that each of us can become.  He is the one who can rise us from the ashes and rebuild our empty shells if we keep him at the center of our lives, trusting in him and following the teachings of His Son, Jesus Christ.  In the end we will find a transformation within ourselves.  A transformation that takes our tabernacle and turns it into a beautiful edifice, dedicated to service to Him who gave us and continues to give us Life.


Click on this link to watch  an interesting video on the transformation of the Provo Tabernacle into the Provo City Center Temple:  The Building of the Provo City Center Temple

For information on Mormon Temples click here: Why Latter-Day-Saints Build Temples


Submitted by:  James Tanner

It's A New Year. Take Care Of Your Body

In the New Testament the apostle Paul taught "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?" (1 Corinthians 3:16). God has blessed you with a physical body and expects you to take care of it.

Elder Jörg Klebingat taught that you should "[t]ake responsibility for your own physical well-being. Your soul consists of your body and spirit (see D&C 88:15). Feeding the spirit while neglecting the body, which is a temple, usually leads to spiritual dissonance and lowered self-esteem."

Avoiding harmful substances such as alcohol, tobacco, and addictive substances has blessed my life immeasurably. They have helped me follow the counsel of the apostle Paul to not defile my own personal temple. As I have taken care to put only good wholesome things into my body, I have been able to feel God's love abound in my life. Using Paul's analogy, I have become closer to God because my spirit is able to comfortably dwell within my 'temple'. I feel more able to listen to the Spirit of God and hear God's answers to my prayers.

 My goal this year is to try to take care of my body by exercising consistently. As each of us set goals this new year, I invite you to consider how you can make your body a better place for the spirit of God to dwell. It can be challenging but I promise that it will be worth it! I know it has been for me. Follow the counsel of Paul and keep your temple clean!

Submitted by: Elder Crook

A Foundation of Faith

The world we live in is a fantastic place, but can sometimes be overwhelming. We have all kinds of things that make our day different. Cars first were made in the late 19th century, and first mass produced in 1909 with the Model-T Ford. Wilbur and Orville Wright made the first powered airplanes, first in 1903, then with passengers in 1908. In 1915 the United States entered WWI and many technological advancements were made. We moved from carbourated engines to internal combustion. We soon used planes for mass transportation, delivering mail and packages, and importing and exporting goods. We developed satellite communication, cathode-ray televisions, then computers. In 1969, NASA flew a mission to the moon, and succeeded, the greatest technological achievement of an era, and all of these happened in one generation. The man or woman born in 1900 lived to see a man placed on the moon. Now we have cars that drive themselves, we have drones, we have aircraft carriers! We have an International Space Station. How cool is that?!

While all this goes on, old ways of doing things like carriages, slide rules—more recently VCRs and cassette tapes—fell out of fashion as we discovered and invented and innovated. Society began to change. Old ways of doing things were frowned upon. Just as technology and innovation has changed the world in the last century, the people have as well—for better and for worse. We have achieved great things, it is true. But in some cases, have we forgotten our "God who gave [us] life?" Alma 40:11  Is there such a thing as 'modern faith', or has it become one of these 'old ways'? Are Christians—or believers of any religion—out of touch? 

No! To say, "Have faith!" is not a cop-out, it's not an excuse, nor does it convey weakness. I say the opposite! Faith is perhaps of greater importance now than ever before! We need more faith than ever! The technology we have is wonderful, but remember that all it does is tell us things that we already know. The reminders I set on my iPad don't tell me anything new; they only tell me things I have forgotten. With my device I can instantly communicate with anyone in the world at the touch of a screen! Where does God fit in?

God doesn't need an iPad to talk to me, He has created each of us with a way to communicate—wirelessly too! "God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." Genesis 1:27  All technology has done is solidify the fact God's "thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9, KJV God, after all the science on the Earth, has methods that are both mind-bogglingly intricate—and yet equally simple. "For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed." Malachi 3:6, KJV  Bottom line? God is simply better than we are. And it's not a bad thing.

So what place does faith have in society today? "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 It is a foundation, a solid rock we must build on. For example, one day I hope to marry and have children. I know that God wants me to marry and have children. But before I was born, Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait and started the Gulf War. Then when I was 8, someone flew a couple of planes into the World Trade Center. When I was 10 the U.S. invaded the Middle East, again. Twelve years later we're still there fighting insurrections and terrorist wannabes, and in the meantime here in the good 'ol United States of America (a world superpower, no less) we have marathons being bombed, school shootings weekly if not daily, religious discrimination, prisons are overcrowded, THC seems to be the flavor of the day, public education is going downhill fast, people are getting killed because of their ethnicity or their sexual orientation, police officers are being hunted and murdered, race riots, traditional values of morality are waning, and those who attempt to preserve them are railed as bigots and prejudiced (and some are), college debt is at an all time high, droughts and wildfires and hurricanes and tornadoes are off the charts in size and in damage, we have untold and almost across-the-board political corruption—all without mention of similar if not worse things happening overseas and no end in sight. 

To be frank, it's more than a little disconcerting for any twenty-something college student. Why on Earth would my generation ever want to raise children in our world? I feel sometimes like I've been set up for failure by the generation before me. But the world wasn't perfect then either. For them it was water fluoridation, missile crises, fear of a military draft, the ever-present nuclear threat from the USSR, Cuba, China, and North Korea. It was Communism, the Vietnam and Korean Wars, and moral disintegration. And yet they did it. Why did they do it, and why now should I?

It's built on faith. Let's go to a well-known Bible story. Daniel 3 tells of three young men, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. They are Hebrews, but have been captured and taken to Babylon. Their names have been changed to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. After some time, King Nebuchadnezzar (we'll just stick to 'the King') came up with a law that dictated the worship of idols periodically throughout the day. Music would play at certain intervals, and when the people heard it, they would fall down and worship the idols he had set up. The king's decreed punishment for disobedience? "...if ye worship not, ye shall be cast the same hour into the midst of a burning fiery furnace; and who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?" (Daniel 3:15, KJV) Sounds like overkill, but the law is the law, right? 

Yeah nope.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego weren't going to have it! This is their response in Daniel 3:16-18: "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up". This is true faith. Applied faith. It's great that they know enough to not worship false idols and to know that God has power to deliver them, but to realize, understand, and accept that they might just die anyway—that God might allow them to be killed? Now we can see true colors, true faith. They have the perspective. This is the God of Israel, the God that preserved Joseph in Egypt, the God of their fathers, of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob! They knew who He was, and were willing to trust Him with whatever might come their way. 

Another example, shorter this time, from the New Testament. Jesus Christ is in the Garden of Gethsemane, taking upon Himself the sins of the world, past, present, and future. This comes from the gospel of Matthew: "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt", and again a few verses later, "O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done." (Matthew 26:39, 42).  The Son of the Living God had just offered the most worthy prayer ever given; He prayed to His Father and asked if it had to be this way, if there wasn't some other way. He knew God, but those time there was not another way, and He did it anyway.

The outcomes of the two stories are different. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego were spared, and the Messiah was crucified by the world he was trying to save...and yet God triumphs, because on the third day, Christ rose again from the tomb, breaking the chains of death and hell. The purposes of God were still accomplished, but in His time. 

Christ now beckons to us. "Be not faithless, but believing." (John 20:27) Have a little faith, He says. In some cases, we might need to square our shoulders and drink the bitter cup. But when you do, know that you stand, yolked with Christ. "The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?" (D&C 122:8)

And so we press on, though at times the world is falling apart. If we need to fight, let's fight. But remember "He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire. Be astill, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge." (Psalms 46:9-11)

 So I still plan to go to college, marry, have children and raise a family. I plan on putting in the sweat, blood, and tears that will inevitably come, but I plan on being happy too, as the Lord told the prophet Enos "Because of thy faith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen. And many years pass away before he shall manifest himself in the flesh; wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole." (Enos 1:8)

Submitted By: Elder Boyd Haskell